The beauty of a Saturday with no plans

I love Saturdays. Chris is home and we get to spend time as a family.  I especially love Saturdays when we don't have any plans for the day. We can do whatever, whenever... it's a beautiful thing.  Today was one of those days. It ended up being such a good day!

We started out with a pancake breakfast... Connor and Dylan's favorite! (and mine if I'm being honest)  After breakfast and clean-up, we had some fun with paint.  We made the boys' hand-prints and foot-prints, Connor and Dylan's were quick and easy. I love hearing their laughter as I paint the bottom of their feet. They are both SOOO ticklish! Sam's footprint was easy. But, it took Chris and I both for his hand-print. If you've ever tried to get a baby's hand-print, you know what I mean... unless you wanted a fist-print. That would be much easier!

After that we played with toys for a while and Sam laid down for a nap.  It was one of those really nice, long naps.  Precious boy!!

While Sam was napping, Chris was going out to work on his truck so I took Connor and Dylan out, too. What a BEAUTIFUL morning. It was comfortable out without a jacket.  I put play clothes on them. I gathered a bowl, some spoons, and a couple of pans... and showed them how to make mud pies! They had never made mud pies before and it was REALLY hard to talk them into getting dirty. I guess that's my fault because I know I don't let them go out and get dirty enough! That's going to change now after seeing how hesitant they were to get dirt/mud on them. We are going to be making mud pies on a regular basis... and other dirty stuff!

 Only using spoons at first.

 Finally getting their hands in the mud.

 Their hands are in... but that is where they draw the line! Their clothes stayed mud free. We'll work on that next time! :)

Proud of their pies.

 They wanted trees to "grow" out of them so we broke off limbs from a tree and "planted" them.

When they were finished with their pies they wanted to jump on the trampoline. It's one of their favorite outdoor activities. And I love it, too. They burn LOTS of energy. Sometimes I get in on the jumping fun, too!

Wrestle mania!

Next, we saw Daddy going out to the building so they wanted to go, too. They played in Daddy's ongoing (and going, and going, and going, sigh) project. Connor says it's HIS blue Firebird!

Next, they decided they wanted to play with their "outside" toys. So, they...

Played basketball:

Rode their bikes:

And I have no idea what this game is:

So after all that... it was only noon! So we came upstairs and got Sam. He woke up happy and half naked! How did he do that??

I got lunch ready so we could all eat together. Well, all of us except Dylan. Soon after we came inside, we couldn't find him. I called him a few times and he didn't come. Finally, I checked his room...

I guess all the outdoor fun wore him out! :)

After lunch, while Dylan was napping, Connor wanted to watch a little TV, so I asked him to keep an eye on Sam for me while I did a few things. The next time I passed by, this is what I found:

I love how Connor put his arm around him!

Next, was Sam's bath time.  He has just started taking a bath without crying... and the trick is to let Connor or Dylan or both take a bath with him.  I guess it makes him feel safer to have someone else in there, too.  Connor happily took a bath with Sam and was such a big helper!

But, after I took Sam out, Connor had more manly things to tend to:

And Sam played on my bed for a little while:

Dylan woke up from his nap... after 3 hours!! And Sam went down for another nap. I guess it was a sleepy day! :)

The day ended with an impromptu dinner (from Papa John's no less) and fellowship with dear friends. They brought their 2 boys (both around Connor and Dylan's ages) and they had a great time playing together.

A Saturday with no plans... LOVE IT!

Putting order in the chaos (or some more appropriate Greek word)

I can remember in many sermons pastors trying to describe a certain passage of scripture and saying that there isn't a word in the English language that can truly portray what the author was saying. That the Greek doesn't accurately translate into English. Well, that's a little how I feel when I'm trying to describe raising 3 children all under the age of 5. I can use the word busy or chaotic or crazy... but surely there is a Greek word that paints a better picture!

Don't get me wrong... I LOVE it! I wouldn't trade it for anything else in the world. It's just that sometimes, I feel a little... well... overwhelmed.  I love for there to be order and organization. I used to be pretty OCD about it and, even still, on some days I can feel the OCD creeping up. But, I have found there is no better therapy for that than loving my children and loving to see the joy on their faces as they are making memories.  Memory making for young children can be VERY messy!

Still, I do need to feel some sense of order and organization. Otherwise, I have found that I don't get much accomplished. After all, raising children is just one of my jobs and I need to get other things done, too. I am easily distracted and it helps me tremendously to have a plan or list or something. So... I made a notebook. I mean, what a simple thing and it makes me oh so happy! In case I ever wonder later in my life how I managed everything when all the boys were very little... I thought I would chronicle the notebook - because its a huge help!

Here is the notebook:

In it, I have:

A calendar where I keep track of birthdays, holidays, special events, etc. I don't use this as my daily calendar. We have one up on the wall in the kitchen where I detail what everyone has going on a certain day. That way I know my hubby will take a peak at it every now and then. But, this one is just nice for a snapshot view:

Daily schedules... I have one for each day detailing our usual activities we need to get done for the day. This isn't something we never veer from. Things come up all the time (like fun play dates or even just a need for us to get out of the house) and I have to maintain flexibility, but this is just a good guide for our day. Like I said, I'm easily distracted so it helps me if there's something to keep me on track.

For each day of the week I usually have some sort of theme for that day.  For us, Monday is kitchen day. I like to make several meals that day and refrigerate them for later in the week.  It doesn't always work out that I get to do it, but I love it when I do! It makes dinner prep for the rest of the week a breeze! Tuesday is the day we go to our school group (24 weeks out of the year) and we also run errands that day. Wednesday used to be laundry day, but since I've started hanging clothes to dry, I do a load a day now. So, Wednesday is now for cleaning the bedrooms and bathrooms. Thursday is "office" day. I use this day for meal planning, couponing, finance planning, lesson planning, or whatever else needs to be done in the office.  Friday is another cleaning day. I vacuum, dust downstairs, and sweep/mop downstairs. Saturdays change every week depending on what we have going on. If there isn't anything planned, we do a special project. Sunday is our day of worship and rest.

Also, our daily schedules sometimes change with the seasons. For instance, in the fall I schedule time for Christmas prep activities (shopping, wrapping, decorating, etc.) and in the spring I schedule time for decluttering and yard sale/consignment prep. Here's a dalily schedule page:

School... Here I like to keep special project ideas, art/craft ideas, articles, lesson planning sheets, etc.

Meal planning - I detail out what I'm going to cook for the week and if I'm trying a new recipe I put that in this section, too.

Other sections in the notebook include:

• Extracurricular activities - where I put their baseball schedules, etc.
• Prayer requests/ Praises - for our family to pray for and give thanks.
• Goals - this one is empty right now, but I've been thinking of listing and tracking goals we have.
• Family worship - for family bible study/devotional ideas.
• Expense planning - for receipts or bills we need to pay or keep track of.
• Coupons

That's about it for the notebook. It gives a little order to this crazy (or whatever Greek word goes best here), joyful, happy, wonderful life!

Save, Save, Save!!

Chris and I have really been focusing lately on being better stewards of our money. We want to do what we can to spend less and save more. So, I thought I would share some of the money saving ideas on here. :)

1. We are refinancing our home! We bought our home over 8 years ago and we were able to secure what was considered a low interest rate at the time. But, in today's economy, it is a very high rate. Looking forward to a much lower payment each month!

2. We use a rewards-earning credit card for almost all of our purchases instead of a bank card. We pay it off each month so we don't accrue interest. We cash in our points for gift cards (usually home depot) and get lots of free stuff!

3. We do not use gas at our house... everything is electric and our bill is sometimes out of control! So, we started thinking of things we could do to lower it. These tips make for more work, but they do save!

• We stopped using our dish washer and now wash all of our dishes by hand.
• We adjust our thermostat a little lower than we used to in the winter, and we adjust it a little higher in the summer. A couple of degrees make a big difference.
• We stopped using our dryer, except to "fluff". We hang our clothes to dry and then put in the dryer on low heat for about 10 minutes. (I have to thank The Castleberry Clan for this tip!) This also makes the clothes stay in better shape longer. We can only do 1 or 2 loads a day this way because I only have room to hang 1 load at a time around the house. I don't like hanging them outside because they don't smell clean to me after hanging outside all day. Maybe someone has a tip for this problem??

So, in our house, we hang the clothes:

On hangers in the laundry room:

On chairs in the dining room:

On the shower rod and the side of the bath tub in the bathroom:

Over the banister:

Or where ever else I can find something that's still! :)

4. Couponing. I have to admit, I am not very consistent with this one! I get on a kick every now and then, but I am off the wagon more than I am on it. I definitely could do better. I clip coupons and organize them by "type" (baby, grocery, health, etc.) and then slide them into baseball card organizer sheets in my notebook. I don't know if this is the "best" way to do it, so I'll accept suggestions and tips! :)

5. Home-made laundry soap. OK... so, I haven't actually done this yet. I am still trying to get through all of the commercial laundry detergent we already have. But, I have a lot of friends who do this and love it. It works in regular and high-efficiency machines. It smells GREAT, it's EASY, and it's CHEAP!! You can make a liquid version or a powder version. I have friends who love both. Here are the recipes:

Powder Version:
1 lb Borax
1 lb Baking soda
1 lb Washing soda
1/3 bar of Fels-Naptha soap (shredded)
Mix together in a bucket and use 1 tablespoon of detergent per load (more for very large or heavily soiled loads).

Liquid Version:
4 cups hot tap water
1 Fels-Naptha soap bar
1 cup Arm& Hammer Super Washing Soda
1/2 cup Borax
Grate bar of soap and add to saucepan with water. Stir continually over med-low heat until soap dissolves and is melted. Fill 5 gallon bucket half full of hot tap water. Add melted soap, washing soda and Borax. Stir well until all powder is dissolved. Fill bucket to top with more hot water. Stir, cover and let sit overnight to thicken. Use 1/2 - 3/4 cup per load depending on size of load. Over time you may have to stir it because it will settle.

6. Vinegar and Baking Soda work wonders for cleaning! No need to buy a lot of different cleaners. Although, I don't think I could do without Pine-Sol or Windex. :)

7. We signed up for Amazon Prime. We find a lot of things are cheaper on amazon than in the store and you don't have to pay tax at checkout and we get free shipping with Prime... not to mention lots of free movies, apps, e-books, etc.

8. We stopped eating out so much. We are trying to keep that to once a month and making it a special treat.

9. We make weekly meal plans and I try to plan our meals and grocery shop around what is on sale that week. This not only saves money, but it makes it easier on me to know what we are having for dinner each night and not have to figure it out at 5:00. Sometimes I will make several meals in one day (usually on Monday) and refrigerate meals for later in the week. That way I just have to heat things up the other nights. This especially works well with Spaghetti, Chili, and Sloppy Joes - they always taste better after they've had time to marinate. Also, we always have a "pot-luck" night with leftovers! If you're not big into meal planning, check out emeals for money saving weekly meal plans based on sales at the store you choose. It's $5/month, but they do all the planning and grocery list making for you... plus they provide all the recipes. :)

That's it for now. I'm always up for more money saving tips... so feel free to make additional suggestions!! :)

Attitude: A Reflection of the Heart

Attitudes... they reveal so much about us. Our thoughts, our beliefs, our values.  They are a compilation of what we know, what we have experienced, what we believe, and how we feel about things. They provide great insight into our hearts. So, what a great resource for us as parents to peek into the windows of our children's hearts!  I've been doing a lot of reading and thinking about this subject lately, so I thought I would share a few things I've learned so far. We are still working on applying all of these concepts in our own lives, but these concepts are really helping us deal with some "heart" issues in our family.

We've all seen it. We all know exactly when it begins to rear its ugly head. A bad attitude! It may show itself in the form of a whine or complaint, a huff or puff, an annoyed stance, crossed arms, a grumble, a sigh, etc., etc., etc.  We recognize it immediately... but why do they have that attitude, what is it saying about their heart, how do we react, and how can we change it?

Why do they have that attitude and what is it saying about their heart?
There can be a number of reasons for a bad attitude. If we listen to what they say, their words can reveal a lot.  They may reveal an attitude to selfishness, pride, defiance, anger, or uncooperativeness. They may reveal character flaws such as laziness, discontentment, or impatience. Or they may reveal wrong thinking... they may have a misconception or misguided feelings about something.  If they don't say anything, but still are showing a bad attitude in their actions, its important to talk with them to find out the reason for the bad attitude.  When we understand the reason, we can address it and begin a process to change it.

How do we react?
Bad attitudes in our children can bring out bad attitudes in us. We can become angry or hurt by their words or actions. We can feel disrespected, unappreciated and irritated.  If we respond to our child's bad attitude with anger or harshness, we can give a mixed message when we are telling them to change their attitude when all the while, we need to change ours.  If we become angry, we may need to take some time to calm down and think about what we want to say before confronting our child. Also, if our child's emotions are high, that may be another good reason to put off the conversation. Wait until everyone is in a calmer frame of mind and can have a rational discussion. If we only address the bad behavior or words, and leave the attitude unchecked, we can be fostering a future lifestyle of bad attitudes, bad moods, and a negative mind-set.

How can we change it?
Changing an attitude takes consistency over time. It is not an easy fix that will take place after one conversation. Once we pinpoint what attitude, character flaw, or wrong thinking our child has revealed through their words/actions, we can begin discussions to reflect their feelings, let them know we understand, and share our thoughts and feelings with them as well as provide discipline if needed. This may take many cycles, but it needs to take place every time the bad attitude comes out because a child can have many different bad attitudes revealing different things that need to be addressed.

The goal is for our children to learn to recognize a bad attitude in themselves, think about why they have that attitude, and figure out healthy ways to respond to their feelings (taking some quiet time for themselves, praying, reading the bible, etc.) and change their own attitude.  God wants us to reflect an attitude of Christ. Romans 15: 5-6 says, "May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you the same attitude of mind toward each other that Christ Jesus had, so that with one mind and one voice you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ."  As parents, we can help our children learn ways to recognize and change negative attitudes, moods, and mind-sets.

This has just been a brief summary of some of the concepts we are putting into action in our family.  If you would like to read more about this subject and learn some other great ideas/concepts (and see examples), I highly recommend the book "Good and Angry - Exchanging Frustration for Character... In You and Your Kids!" by Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller. This subject on attitude is covered in just one chapter. It is FULL of great ideas about the usefulness of anger, giving instruction... and getting your kids to obey the first time!, giving correction, accepting limits, teaching self-control and integrity, and more from a biblical view.

Are you a "squeezer" or a "pleaser"?

This question was asked in our morning devotional (VeggieTales 365 Day Starter Devos for Boys), "...are you a "squeezer" or a "pleaser"? Do you squeeze God into your schedule with a prayer before mealtime, or do you please God by talking to Him far more often than that?"

Although these devotions are supposed to be for the boys' benefit, this question and statement spoke to me.  We are very intentional about having devotionals and family worship time with the boys, about being at church for Sunday School and service every Sunday, about going to AWANA every week, about memorizing scripture, about talking about biblical principals throughout the day, etc. We want to make sure that they know how very important it is to make time for God and to worship Him.  But, the thought occurred to me, "how much time do I personally spend alone, quietly with God?"  It is very easy to get lost in the hustle and bustle of each day... doing chores, doing lessons/crafts/playtime with the boys, running errands, and "unwinding" at the end of the day vegetating in front of the television or computer (ouch, that one hurt to admit)?

The bible teaches us the importance of quiet time... Psalm 62:5 says "I wait quietly before God, for my hope is in Him." And Psalm 46:10 says "... Be still and know that I am God..."  It can be very difficult to carve out quiet time alone with God each day... but oh how it pleases Him when we do! How we glorify and show Him our love when we do! He has blessed us so richly and is it really to much to ask that I give Him some of my time, alone, just us?? No, its not. It's actually very little for Him to ask of us.

This time can be spent at ANY part of our day... we can choose. Everyone is different and has different schedules so this time may be best spent for you first thing in the morning, or on lunch break in your car, or when the kids are napping, or at night when everyone else has gone to bed. It doesn't matter when you do it, it just matters that you do it.

It is also important that we teach our children about this concept from an early age. If we do, then it will just be a natural part of their every day when they are older. Although, I will be the first to admit that teaching a 3 and 4 year old about quiet time can be, well, a challenge... but it is definitely doable. When they are very excited or want to play or in need of a nap... these are not times to practice. You know your children best so you will be the best judge of when good quiet time would be.  For us, its going to be first thing in the morning when they wake up and they are rested, but still sleepy. This is also the best time for me, too. I really enjoy quiet time alone in the morning. Let them "catch" you having your quiet time and invite them to join you. Explain what you are doing and why you are doing it. Read to them as well, and pray with them. This only has to take a few minutes, especially if they are very young. The important part is that they see you and understand what this time means to you. This time will be a very precious time for you and for your children... and for God.

"Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel—  rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God." 1 Peter 3:3-4

Spring cleaning... in January!

OK, I know Spring cleaning is supposed to be reserved for, well, the spring... but I thought, what better way to start the year than with everything cleaned out and organized?? Everything has a way of getting cluttered and stacked up and stashed in a drawer throughout the year and you end up with closets you're afraid to open without something falling on you and drawers you can't open!

This is going to be a pretty long process because I can't do it all at one time. I can only invest an hour or less a day so I am trying to focus on one room, or one closet, or one piece of furniture to go through per day.

I started with a new bookcase (well, new to us anyway... it was given to us by a dear friend). We didn't have one and Chris wasn't convinced that we needed one, but I insisted anyway. After I finished pulling out all of the books from all of my "hiding" places around the house and had them stacked in the living room to organize on the bookshelf, I think Chris was convinced! :)  He said, "where did all of these come from???" Bahahahaha... I guess I'm pretty good at finding places to stash things.

Next I had the boys go through all of the toys in their room and we picked ones that they don't play with all that often to take down to the basement. I'm not getting rid of them, but I'm putting them away for now and the plan is to pull them out in 6 months or so and switch them for any toys they may have become bored with. They tend to get excited to see toys they haven't played with in a while. While we were going through their room, we also cleaned out drawers and their closet. I am still slowly working on Sam's room. His closet has just been a place to put things I don't know what to do with.

Next was our closet. I had to put away flip flops and sandals and other warm weather items. They had taken over the floor in our closet.  I did it when Chris was at work and after he came home and went upstairs to change, he came back down and said, "Hey, did you know there's carpet in our closet??"  Smarty britches...

I still have to go through our night stands, dresser, and armoir in our room and all of the drawers in our living room tables... but I am already feeling decluttered! If anyone were to come over, no one would notice anything different (except the bookshelf), but I know there is less of a mess in drawers and closets and if I want to find something, I may just be able to do so! I love it!!

No one can see me.

Several months ago I took Connor and Dylan to Burger King and after lunch we went out to the playground so they could play for a while. There happened to be a lot of kids there that day (I think there was a school group there for a field trip because most of the children there knew each other). They were so excited to get a chance to play with so many kids their age and some older than them. They were all running around happily playing and Connor really wanted to play hide-and-seek. I was so proud of him for taking the initiative to try and start up a game. He was asking everyone if they wanted to play as they ran by him. He would say, "Hey, does anyone want to play hide and seek?" And, "It's a really fun game." And, "I'll let you hide first." They were so busy playing no one stopped or showed any sign that they even heard him. I don't blame them, they were just excited and having fun playing and running around... but Connor didn't understand. He just stood in the middle of the playground and started to cry. I had been watching all of this play out and I knew why he was crying, but I called him over to me and quietly asked him what was the matter. I wanted to hear the explanation from his perspective. All he said was, "No one can see me."

My. Heart. Ripped. In. Two.

It took me a minute to be able to speak without crying myself. I related to him and could remember having felt that way before. How could I express to him how special he is... what an amazing blessing he is... how much he is so deeply loved?? I explained to him that the other kids were just so excited to be on the playground where they could run and slide and do things that they can't normally do at home. I also explained that not everyone wants to play the exact same thing we want to play and sometimes we just have to join in what others are already playing and that I was sure they would love it if he joined in with them. Then I held him closely and whispered to him for a few minutes about how special and amazing he is and that he is loved more than he knows. He calmed down and continued to play, but I could still see a change in his demeanor... not as much pep in his step.

I guess that was the first time I ever saw him experience a heart ache... and I think mine ached more for him than I ever remember before. It is so painful as a parent to see your child hurting. Even though it is so painful to see my children hurting, I know there will be many more heart aches to come and I know there is no way to avoid them. But my prayer isn't that they don't get hurt... my prayer is that out of those heart aches my children learn humility, compassion for others, and to turn to God in their hurting. And, that even when it feels like no one can see us, our loving Heavenly Father sees us and His very Spirit dwells within us!

the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees Him nor knows Him; but you know Him, for He dwells with you and will be in you. John 14:17