THIS is what's for dinner tonight!

Just pulled the spare ribs out of the oven!  My first time making them, but I need to remember this because it smells (and more importantly - tastes) amazing! I first put on a rub and let sit until they were close to room temp... I didn't use a recipe for it... just put what "looked" right. Here's what I used:

Dark brown sugar (this was the majority)
Salt
Pepper
Garlic
Paprika

Placed ribs up on a cooling rack set in a foil lined cookie sheet.

Cooked them on 250 for 3 hours (internal temperature needs to be a minimum of 145). Basted them with Hickory and Brown Sugar barbecue sauce about 20 minutes before pulling them out.

Serving with corn, baked beans and new potatoes.

So... move over Rachael Ray, because THIS is what's for dinner tonight! ;)

Picture fun!

The other morning I was camera happy and just took some fun pictures of the boys throughout the day as they played. They love making silly faces and running to see themselves on the camera. Such fun!

Sam is 11 months now! 

This boy LOVES granola bars... and making messes!

Play time with the giant bean bags.

Silly faces.

This was supposed to be a "mad face", but Connor said, "Well, I'm not mad so I'll just smile."

Happy face!

 Cletus

Bubba

Brotherly love!

Okay, that's enough love - get off.

Thankful for a fussy baby

Yep, that's right... Tonight I am thankful for a fussy baby. Sounds strange right? Let me explain...

Tonight I was planning on posting pictures from our vacation... or maybe the pictures from our 4th of July celebration... or Chris' birthday (OK, so I'm a little behind on posting!).  But, baby Sam was not a happy camper this evening. He's getting over a double ear infection and a cold, but the antibiotic he's taking makes his little tummy hurt. So, he has had some very unhappy moments in the past week. :(  Tonight was one of those moments. We've also had a very busy weekend so he is super exhausted. I tried laying him down around 7:30 like usual, but he just cried, and cried, and cried some more, which is not usual for him. I always lay him down when he's awake because he won't fall asleep on me; he wants to be in his bed. A lot of people say that's a good thing... but it makes me kind of sad I can't rock him to sleep.

I brought him back downstairs and tried feeding him... didn't work. I tried rocking him in the living room... didn't work.  I tried walking around with him... didn't work. So, after Connor and Dylan were all tucked in, I took him outside and he finally calmed down (going outside usually does - he loves it - come to think of it, all of my babies did). We spent the next hour and a half swinging. At first he was wide awake. We talked, tickled, giggled, sang, and loved on each other. As he started winding down, I sang to him, prayed over him, and just kept swinging. Finally, he found rest and surrendered his tired body to sleep.

I really don't know how to describe it. For me, it was magical. It was beautiful. It was the most precious 90 minutes of my day... of my week. I don't get much time to spend with just him. It stays pretty busy around our house and time to just sit and rock/swing our baby just doesn't come around all that often. Even when I'm nursing him, I'm usally doing something else too... you know... always multitasking! But, tonight... tonight the Lord blessed me with that sweet, precious time. Time I wouldn't have had with him if he had just fallen asleep when I layed him down. So, tonight, I am very thankful for a fussy baby... who is now sleeping tight.

Sweet dreams precious baby of mine.

Raising a Strong-Willed Child

Well... if you know our family, you know who this blog is going to be about!  I'm not writing this blog because I have all the answers to raising a strong-willed child. In fact, I find myself in the opposite position. We are in a constant search for the best way to raise him, to discipline him, to change negative behavior, and so on.  Even today has presented many challenges. So the purpose for this blog is just for us to have a record of what things we are dealing with right now and what has or hasn't worked for us. Every child is different and responds to different things at different times, and so there isn't one right or wrong answer. We want to be the best parents we can be to him. We want to teach him to use all of the wonderful gifts that God has given to him. We want to give him every opportunity to grow and learn. And so... we continue to try new things and learn ourselves.

First - a little about our precious Dylan: In addition to being strong-willed, Dylan is also very full of energy. He is very loving. He loves to play, laugh, have fun, and even to be held and cuddled - especially if he's sleepy or not feeling well. He has a very fun personality and his laughter is contageous. He LOVES to help and wants to be a part of whatever we are doing and he thrives on praise. He also likes for everything to be on his terms. If you tell him to do something, he'll want to finish what he's doing first and get to it when he wants. If you tell him to stop doing something, he always has to do it one more time! These are the main reasons he gets in trouble. When we give instructions, we expect them to be followed immediately. We feel we should only have to say it once. We have set these expectations for Connor and Dylan (and it will be the same for Sam). If we have to repeat ourselves, then there are consequences.

Another big challenge is how he deals with anger. He has hit, kicked, bitten, thrown things, screamed, cried, and other things of the like. That is one place where we need to help him more... teaching him how to better deal with his anger. It is a work in progress, even in my own life. I try to think about how I deal with anger, but I have struggled, too. I have not been a good example. I know that the best ways to deal with anger and a bad attitude are prayer, taking deep breaths, counting, reading, being alone... maybe he and I can work on those together!

So, here are some things we have tried that I feel have not worked well with Dylan:

Spankings - I never really thought I would say this because I do believe spankings work and can serve a purpose in certain circumstances. But, with Dylan, spankings do not change his behavior. Although there are probably times this would be an appropriate punishment, for the most part, they don't work with Dylan.

The corner/time-out - We have put him in time-out before when trying to get him to apologize to someone or trying to get him to complete a task and he refused. We would put him there and say, "you can come out when you're ready to do what we've asked." He has stood there for hours! And, most of the time, he doesn't really seem to mind it.

Yelling at him - OK, I know this is not a punishment anyone actually recommends. But, the truth is, I have gotten so frustrated or angry, I have done it. It makes him cry, his behavior doesn't change, and I feel awful! I always end up apologizing to him and asking him to forgive me and explaining to him that yelling is not ok and mommy messes up sometimes, too. It's very humbling when you have to go to your children for forgiveness.

Now, here are some things that we have found do work well (or we are still trying them):

Redirection - Many times, Dylan just gets bored! He becomes destructive when he's bored. So many times, if I can just find something constructive for him to do, that resolves the destructive behavior. He loves to draw, color, paint, and work with play-dough... anything artistic. He also loves to play in the dirt. He loves to play in the water - sometimes just putting him in the bathtub with bubbles to play does the trick. He also loves to do things to help me. Today I needed to work in the garage, so I turned on the water hose and asked him to water the blueberries and flowers. I gave him the hose and a watering can, he had a blast and was happily occupied for 30 minutes! When he was bored with that I pulled out his water gun, then his basketball goal and ball, then scissors and paper in the basement, then play-dough. I was able to get so much done and as long as he had something to do, he was happy!

Praise for positive behavior - Dylan loves attention. Sometimes I think he misbehaves because he wants attention... any kind of attention. So, when he misbehaves, he definitely gets my attention. We are working on giving him a lot of praise when he is behaving, or we see him share, or we hear him say something nice, or he sits at the table and eats an entire meal without getting up!

Isolation - This is spin on the prior (praise for positive behavior)... instead of giving him attention when he does something he shouldn't (like if he isn't being nice to someone), we make him go to his room by himself. He doesn't get to be a part of family activities when he is misbehaving. He gets a lack of attention, rather than attention. Now, for Connor, this wouldn't work. He loves to be alone in his room! But, Dylan loves to be around others. Our rule is, "be nice to everyone, or be alone in your room." He cannot resume family activities (whether it be a movie, a game, a meal, etc.) until he has had time to think about what he did, changed his attitude and apologized to the person he offended.

The last thing is the one we are still trying to figure out... what to do when he refuses to do something we've asked him to do... like, "pick up those blocks and put them in the bin." And he just stands there and stares at us. We have had a lot of suggestions and we've tried everything including all of the 6 things listed above, plus other things. Nothing seems to work. Has anyone dealt with this one and figured out a solution??

He is such a precious boy with a very tenacious spirit. I love his willingness to try anything and I pray he always keeps that. He is an amazing blessing with many amazing gifts. I pray we can teach him to use all of his gifts to the honor and glory of God, even the gift of a strong will!

Candle Letter Art

I recently redecorated the boys' bathroom and I'm still working on a few things in there. One thing I wanted to do is have each of their initials on a shelf that holds their wash cloths. I came across some cute candles that went perfectly and I thought I would just put letter stickers on each one. Well, apparently stickers don't stick to wax... so I needed another solution. I looked for letter decorations for candles, but couldn't find any. But while searching for a solution online, I came across this idea:

First, you find a font you like and print out the letters you want on the candles, then cut around them:

Next, place them on the candle and secure them with a few pins:

Go around the edges of each letter with a pin and when you've finished, remove the pins and the paper. You will see the outline of the letter etched into the candle:

Select the color of your pins and cut them so they're not so long (I probably cut about 2/3 of each pin off)

Push the pins in along the pattern of the letter etched in the candle.

Finished product! Not super happy with the C so I may try to fix that one later (that's one thing I really like about this idea... it's forgiving - if you mess up you can just reposition the pins... and there's always the other side of the candle!)

Just what I needed...

I haven't been blogging much lately... I've been a little down in the dumps. Nothing specific is wrong... just having myself a little pity party of 1! And once you've "wallered" in self-pity for a while, it gets pretty deep and hard to get out! I couldn't figure out why I seemed to have this dark cloud over me and why I couldn't get out from under it.

Monday, yesterday, and today I attended a 3 day parent practicum (given by Classical Conversations) which really does a great job explaining different types of education models and specifically the Classical Christian Education model. I had a pretty good understanding from being a part of CC this past year, but this event really helped reinforce what I've been learning and gave me some new ideas for next year. In the afternoons I attended the tutor training - CC foundations (K4-6th grade) has parent tutors who model teaching the new grammar each week to the students and the parents and this training prepares tutors for this role.

Not only was this 3 day event educational for me... but it was also encouraging and enlightening (which is what I needed most)!

I am realizing that my "cloud" came from losing my focus. Rather that focusing on Christ and what He wants from me, I was focused on myself. I have been putting pressure where there shouldn't be any if I was truly trusting Him.

Yesterday we watched a video on a college who does things differently from any other college I know of... St. John's College. I just started laughing as I watched it. I couldn't understand some of the stuff they were saying! Everyone on there came across as extremely educated... like, I would be very intimidated to have a conversation with one of them because I'd be afraid I wouldn't be able to keep up! I was laughing because I thought... "Seriously? Would my children even be able to get into this college with the education that I am capable of providing?? I'm going to ruin them!" Did you get that? Let me repeat that and this time look at the words I've bolded: "Seriously? Would MY children even be able to get into this college with the education that I am capable of providing?? I'M going to ruin them." Me, ME, MEEE!!! Then, I just felt the Lord speaking to my spirit and he just gave me a little nugget... I love when He does that! I felt Him say...

You don't have to CREATE your children. I've already done that. And I've given them all of the gifts they will need to fulfill My purpose for them. I don't NEED you to do anything except what I've called you to do. I will give you everything you need to do what I ask of you.

WOW! Talk about humbling... but it also removed some of the pressure I've put on myself! And why do I even want to be in control?? I can only see a tiny portion of our lives, but God has infinite wisdom and sees all of eternity... He sees the big picture! But, still, it's a struggle I will have to continue to work through with a lot of prayer because I am... A. Control. Freak.

So here are a few of the other lessons I learned (or was reminded of) this week:
I don't have to be perfect.
My children don't have to be perfect.
Its ok that I'm just a normal person!
There is no magical homeschooling superpower.
I don't need this or that kind of personality.
I don't need to know everything.
I don't have to have the patience of Job!
I don't have to know what lies ahead.
I don't have to be in control. God has us in His hands and He is in perfect control at all times.
I am teaching my children ALL THE TIME... not just when we're "having school." Deut 11:19 tells us that we are to teach our children His commands when we wake up, when we lie down, even when we're just sitting around our home! God gave us our children and the high calling of making disciples of them. (Matt:18-20)

Today we read Psalm 121 which says:

I lift up my eyes to the mountains— where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.

He will not let your foot slip— he who watches over you will not slumber;
indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.

The Lord watches over you— the Lord is your shade at your right hand; the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night.

The Lord will keep you from all harm — he will watch over your life;
the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.

What an encouraging scripture! Sometimes I lose my Christ-centered focus, I get off track, and I focus on myself. I loved this reminder that God loves us with an everlasting love. We are in His palm and He watches over us with great care. He is ever-present in every moment in our lives. The Creator of the Universe knows and cares about every. little. detail. of our lives! He is in complete and total control!!

Happy Mother's Day!

Today I had a great mother's day with my family, so I thought I'd just post a quick summary. It started off with lots of hugs and kisses, a very sweet gift, and then out to breakfast with all my hunks! :)  Here's a picture with my babies before we left:

Then we went to church and had an amazing Sunday School lesson and a wonderful sermon on the tears mothers shed. After church I went to get the boys from children's church and all of the kids made crafts for their moms. One of the crafts was a cross with a heart and scripture on it. On the back of Connor's was a drawing:

So I asked him about it:
Connor: Up at the top is me. Mommy, you are on the right. Dylan is on the left and the one with the really long legs is daddy.
Me: Where is Sam?
Connor: He's the R.
Me: Why is Sam an R?
Connor: Well, I didn't know he looked different than an R.

Too funny.

Then we went to my parents' house along with my brother and grandmother. We had lunch and a nice, long, relaxing afternoon/evening. Fried chicken... a movie... games... napping... and Dylan running up to me no less than 10 times today yelling out "Happy Mother's Day, MOM!" It was perfect.

Thank you to my awesome husband, my wonderful children, and the rest of my loving family for making this day so special. I love you all SO very much!!